Bullying is NOT OK
New’s Anchors response to a man calling her fat
WOW! What can I say that she didn’t already! It is sad to say that this happens all the time, yet it is not brought in the light like this incident.
I am a hairstylist and have the privilege of having many clients who are school teachers. One told me how little girls start picking on each other for what they wear and how they look as early as kindergarten and 1st grade. Another told me that at the beginning of the school year she asked her students to look around the room and tell her what they saw. One boy replied with , ” well I know your fat.”
Children learn this behavior through us. We monitor what they watch on TV, the computer, and what they hear on the radio. Are you actually watching the shows they do? Are you listening to what they listen to on the radio? Are you looking at what they are searching on the computer? Are you hearing yourself and how you speak, even when you think they are not listening?
It is so easy to assume your children know right from wrong. It so easy to assume that because you have told them not to do something that they understand why. It is so easy to assume. Do not assume that your 5 year old wasn’t listening as you were chatting with your friend on the phone. Don’t assume that your 8 year old is not paying attention to the lyrics of a song. Do not assume that they are not picking up on the teasing, name calling, and bias behavior that so many shows contain. Do not assume that your preteen is not being exposed to negative behaviors on the Internet. Do not assume anything. ASSUMPTION is probably the most dangerous action there is.
It’s the small things that we tend to overlook. We are standing in the checkout line with our family and we say something about another person in the line two down, we like the tattoo they have or how cute their kid is. When our partner can not figure out who we are speaking about we automatically go to ” Oh the fat one.” or “the Goth kid with all the freaky piercings.” What we should be saying is, ” the one with the purple shirt and the blonde hair.” or “the guy with ripped up jeans on”. We have to BE AWARE of what we are thinking and how it comes out of our mouth. What we think is eventually what we say which eventually leads to our behaviors and actions. So start with your thought patterns and adjust them.
As a stylist, I change my hair quite often and I wear a lot of black (hairstylists color of choice). I have been every brown and blonde and even rainbow hued! I can tell you that just by changing something as simple as my hair color, it changed the way I was looked at. I had some people look at me with interest. I had others look at me like I was some punk kid, rebelling against the world. I am a successful young woman with a career, a family, and who regularly goes to church. I think for 26 I have my stuff pretty together. (definitely not perfect) But the people who looked at me with disgust, would never know any of that because they judge me before ever saying a word to me.
Everyone is special. Everyone was put on this earth for a reason, for a purpose beyond our understanding. Everyone has been through ups and downs and we have no idea how they felt going through those things. Everyone has a story. Everyone deserves the right to not be judged on their appearance. They are human, not perfect, just like YOU. So lay off with your negative thoughts and words…..haven’t you learned how positive affirmations will go so much further? And how would you feel if the comment you made was the last that person ever heard?
Mantras:
Change the way I think
BE NICE
Everyone is a gift to this world
I have no room to judge
Joie De Vivre- the joy of living. Not just a feeling, but a lifestyle. I want to help you achieve it!